[2021/03/03 Editor] Taiwanese billiards player Jiang Hongjie has been married to Japanese billiards queen Fukuhara Ai for more than 4 years. He gave birth to two cute babies. The couple often share their lovely interactions. Recently, the two have changed their marriages. Fukuhara Ai once again revealed on the 3rd that both parties had agreed to divorce in January. When parents decide to divorce, if they fail to properly handle their respective hearts first, they may be undermined by negative emotions, which will not affect their physical and mental state indirectly. Liang Shujuan, associate professor of the Department of Psychological Guidance at the University of Culture and Psychological Consulting, and Psychological Consulting at the Institute of Psychological Consulting, pointed out that during the process of divorce, both parties should first adjust their personal feelings in order to communicate with their partner more rationally, pay attention to their children's needs, and help them overcome the difficulties in life.
{9 First, there are hundreds of reasons for divorce. Some situations are not peaceful decisions between husband and wife. For example, if one party has an affair, the other party may feel angry and sad, focusing on how to report, hurt his partner, etc., and having to embark on the road of divorce. If a couple does not deal with the problems between the two first and adjust their respective emotions, it is easier to ignore the needs of their children and cause huge harm. Liang Shujuan psychologist reminds that during the divorce process, you should pay attention to the following two things:1. Don’t fight for the best welfare of the child, consider the best welfare of the child
"I have seen couples sue each other or fight for supervision, etc. These behaviors are not considered based on the best welfare of the child." Liang Shujuan psychologist said that when the couple’s emotions are in a high state, they are prone to anger the child and unconsciously bring the child into the conflict between the couple. When divorced, couples should put their children's needs first, not be comparative, competitive, or reporting, and even ask their children to choose between two families, so that the children can fall into a loyalty.
2. Be careful not to make the child emotional. Spouse or adult. When a couple decides to divorce, they must have a difficult process. Some people will complain in front of their children and treat the child as a spiritual support. However, when children are also in a state of pain and difficulty, they also need to comfort their parents, which will make the children bear heavy burdens and pressures.
Psychologist Liang Shujuan suggested that couples can find more resources and use the help of professionals to relieve inner pain. Only when couples can they rationally change the relationship, which will help them focus on arrangements after divorce and provide emotional support to children.
Actively informing the child about divorceIt is not easy to announce the divorce to the child, especially when the child is young, which makes it difficult for many parents to speak. However, parents should still explain it clearly in front of their children. If parents choose not to explain to their children, the children may still feel the changes in the family atmosphere, or learn from the conversation between parents, relatives and friends. Therefore, parents should actively inform their children about divorce and subsequent arrangements, and both parties should have a consistent statement to avoid making their children confused and misunderstood.
Psychologist Liang Shujuan suggested that when facing younger children, there is no need to explain the complex reasons and details of divorce to the children, and avoid involuntarily interfering with the couple, but instead explain it in a simple way, such as saying: "Dad and mother will quarrel and be unhappy when they are together, so they will not live together in the future." During the informing process, be careful to make the child understand that even if the parents divorce, their love for him will not change, giving the child a sufficient sense of security.
Advisory consultation/Liang Shujuan, associate professor of the Department of Psychological Guidance at the University of Culture and Psychological Consultant, psychologist at the Psychological Consultant
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